"BABY DOC" ONLY SOUNDS CUTE

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS GUY UP TO?!
Jean-Claude Duvalier, aka Baby Doc, the younger half of the two-generation terror squad ruling Haiti from 1957 to 1986, showed up in Haiti this week.
Haiti needs a lot of things - medical supplies and doctors, fresh water sources, food, transportation, repairs to flooded roads and damaged infrastructure, effective cholera treatments. One thing they don't need is this clown pulling into town after 25 years of exile in France and announcing he wants to help.
I don't blame the Haitians in the slightest for welcoming Duvalier - apparently, fully half of the country is under the age of 33, meaning they have little to no memory of how insanely evil, corrupt and brutal the ham-fisted Duvalier regime really was. But let's have a brief recap: at the end of their reign of terror, the one-two knockout punch of Duvaliers Sr and Jr could add millions of dollars in embezzlement, the executions of thousands of political opponents, and the introduction of the tontons macoutes (a distinctly evil secret police force) to their resumes. And let's not forget their continued dealings in narcotics and body parts (!), or the repeated violations of the Constitution, or the vote-rigging, or that time when Daddy Doc rewrote the Lord's prayer to include himself.
Haiti, you just can't catch a break, can you?


YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG
Toronto police have taken a man accused of shooting at and firebombing a house into custody. The enterprising young fellow, Atanas Markov, decided to return with a gun after a deal (and Markov's subsequent attempt at extortion) went south at his business partner's house. He fired at the house (?!) and then at a car parked in the driveway. Still not content, this champion returned three days later with a couple of friends, who helped him throw Molotov cocktails at the house. The damage they did, however, was mostly broken glass; fortunately, the business partner and his wife and two kids were unharmed.
What have we learned here? Not only is Markov insane enough to firebomb a house, the utter lack of, you know, fire damage suggests he's not even GOOD at making Molotov cocktails. Come on, son. You're just disgracing the real arsonists around here.

What is this I don't even.

Where do I even start?
Okay. The Soviets occupied Finland for a couple of years around the start of WWII, which sucked big-time for the Finns. Pretty much exhausted and really annoyed with the Russians by this time, Finland allowed the Nazis to occupy part of their country, until they realized that Nazis were actually really bad dudes, and put their cooperation pact through the cross-cut shredder a couple times.

MEANWHILE, a pharmaceutical company owner (Tor Borg) apparently had a dog who had a habit of raising its paw in the air, in what looked like to a few sun-starved Finns to be the Sig Heil salute. His wife nicknamed the dog Hitler; hilarity ensued. The Chancellory caught wind of this dog via some of their handy spies, and weren't too happy. They dispatched some more diplomats to find the dog and figure out just what was going on. All of this was very seriously reported via a series of cables - including a plot to destroy Borg's pharmaceutical company by having his wholesaler cut him off. (Does this sound weirdly like the CIA vs. Castro to anyone else, by the way?)

In the end, nothing much happened, apparently because none of the witnesses were willing to stand in open court and give their findings on a dog's party tricks.

Having read all of this, I have but one question...in the photograph, is that dog wearing sunglasses?