It's time for some SMACKDOWN

E:
Either you stop singing in that delightfully grating coloratura soprano voice, PARTICULARLY past midnight or before 8 am, or your vocal cords are gonna have to go. And don't you shoot your big mouth off to me about the lack of cutlery in the drawer. You need a spoon, snowflake? WASH ONE. I'm not your mother, I'm a science student. I am BUSY, unlike drama comms who have too much free time on their hands to devote to endless vocal practice and talking TOO LOUDLY on the phone.

Idiots in my human phys class:
LEAVE OUR PROFESSOR THE FUCK ALONE! I am sick of having these kinds of conversations:
Idiots: Hey, how come we got zero on this assignment?
Prof: 'Cause you cheated, that's why.
Idiots: We didn't cheat!
Prof: You have the exact same word-for-word answer for numbers four, seven, and ten. You even made the same spelling mistake here.
Idiots: Oh, but we didn't cheat, I barely helped my friend at all, we didn't copy, etc. etc.
Prof: But you must have! YOUR ANSWERS ARE EXACTLY THE SAME!
Idiots: This is ridiculous, you're stupid, etc.
Me: Gentlemen. Prof. X is not attempting to defame your character--though I certainly would. All she is saying is that it's okay to help each other or use the Internet--but you have to PARAPHRASE, not copy directly.
Does everyone know what paraphrasing is?
Does anyone think paraphrasing is beyond their intellectual capabilities?
Good. Now let's all apologize to Dr. X for being rude. Very good.

Now, one of these boys is probably going to firebomb my house, and I'm not going to appreciate that very much.

T:
Stop coming to class high. They're not diet pills, they're amphetamines. SPEED. STOP TAKING THEM.