I'm having a classical-music kind of day today.
I like a lot of different composers, and I like different types of classical music.
What I DON'T like is having to wade through three thousand crappy versions of the song I want to hear before I find a good copy of it to listen to. See, I LIKE these songs, and I don't appreciate hearing them butchered, either with an excess of speed or with bad acoustics.
I do prefer professionals--Zimerman, Richter, Yundi, and so on--but I am perfectly okay with listening to a good amateur play it properly. Unfortunately, good amateurs are hard to find.
Listen up, you little punks. Don't you post up some song you just learned and use the "description" section to apologize for the bad sound quality. If the sound sucks, WHY did you post it? Must you really give the world the gift of your fuzzy, distorted rendition of Bach's prelude in C minor? No! Lots of video cameras are capable of getting decent sound quality, so what is holding you up? Get a camera, PUT IT ON A TRIPOD (this is so crucial--I get seasick every time your mom videotapes you), and play away. Don't race through the piece at breakneck speed, and we'll get along just fine. But if your video doesn't turn out so well? SPARE US ALL. Don't put it on YouTube. Get different equipment and try again.
And, for heaven's sake, here's a good general rule for all of YouTube: IF YOU SHOT IT ON YOUR CAMERAPHONE, IT HAS NO BUSINESS ON YOUTUBE. OR ANYWHERE. JUST DELETE IT. DELETE IT NOW.
Is that so much to ask?
Friday 21 November 2008
Thursday 20 November 2008
It's time for some SMACKDOWN
E:
Either you stop singing in that delightfully grating coloratura soprano voice, PARTICULARLY past midnight or before 8 am, or your vocal cords are gonna have to go. And don't you shoot your big mouth off to me about the lack of cutlery in the drawer. You need a spoon, snowflake? WASH ONE. I'm not your mother, I'm a science student. I am BUSY, unlike drama comms who have too much free time on their hands to devote to endless vocal practice and talking TOO LOUDLY on the phone.
Idiots in my human phys class:
LEAVE OUR PROFESSOR THE FUCK ALONE! I am sick of having these kinds of conversations:
Idiots: Hey, how come we got zero on this assignment?
Prof: 'Cause you cheated, that's why.
Idiots: We didn't cheat!
Prof: You have the exact same word-for-word answer for numbers four, seven, and ten. You even made the same spelling mistake here.
Idiots: Oh, but we didn't cheat, I barely helped my friend at all, we didn't copy, etc. etc.
Prof: But you must have! YOUR ANSWERS ARE EXACTLY THE SAME!
Idiots: This is ridiculous, you're stupid, etc.
Me: Gentlemen. Prof. X is not attempting to defame your character--though I certainly would. All she is saying is that it's okay to help each other or use the Internet--but you have to PARAPHRASE, not copy directly.
Does everyone know what paraphrasing is?
Does anyone think paraphrasing is beyond their intellectual capabilities?
Good. Now let's all apologize to Dr. X for being rude. Very good.
Now, one of these boys is probably going to firebomb my house, and I'm not going to appreciate that very much.
T:
Stop coming to class high. They're not diet pills, they're amphetamines. SPEED. STOP TAKING THEM.
Either you stop singing in that delightfully grating coloratura soprano voice, PARTICULARLY past midnight or before 8 am, or your vocal cords are gonna have to go. And don't you shoot your big mouth off to me about the lack of cutlery in the drawer. You need a spoon, snowflake? WASH ONE. I'm not your mother, I'm a science student. I am BUSY, unlike drama comms who have too much free time on their hands to devote to endless vocal practice and talking TOO LOUDLY on the phone.
Idiots in my human phys class:
LEAVE OUR PROFESSOR THE FUCK ALONE! I am sick of having these kinds of conversations:
Idiots: Hey, how come we got zero on this assignment?
Prof: 'Cause you cheated, that's why.
Idiots: We didn't cheat!
Prof: You have the exact same word-for-word answer for numbers four, seven, and ten. You even made the same spelling mistake here.
Idiots: Oh, but we didn't cheat, I barely helped my friend at all, we didn't copy, etc. etc.
Prof: But you must have! YOUR ANSWERS ARE EXACTLY THE SAME!
Idiots: This is ridiculous, you're stupid, etc.
Me: Gentlemen. Prof. X is not attempting to defame your character--though I certainly would. All she is saying is that it's okay to help each other or use the Internet--but you have to PARAPHRASE, not copy directly.
Does everyone know what paraphrasing is?
Does anyone think paraphrasing is beyond their intellectual capabilities?
Good. Now let's all apologize to Dr. X for being rude. Very good.
Now, one of these boys is probably going to firebomb my house, and I'm not going to appreciate that very much.
T:
Stop coming to class high. They're not diet pills, they're amphetamines. SPEED. STOP TAKING THEM.
Saturday 8 November 2008
I was watching some videos on YouTube and came across one of a live version of "I kissed a girl" by Katy Perry at the European VMAs. There were all kinds of comments below it like "Katy can't sing live!" or "She sounds like a man!" or "WTF? Bad singing!" Listen, if you thought Katy Perry's song was famous because she had a good voice, you completely missed the point of the video. Katy's voice sounds weird on her CD, never mind live, but that's not at all why she was so popular this summer.
Also. While we're talking about kissing girls and YouTube, I came across some "Yes on Prop 8" videos that I kind of thought were hilarious.
According to one video's comments, "98% of all homosexuals in prison admitted to being attracted to children". What? Does anyone actually believe these kinds of figures? 98% of all CHILD MOLESTERS in prison admitted to being attracted to children--that I would believe. I mean, that's what got them put in jail in the first place. But homosexuals? I don't think so.
My favourite part, I think, is the underlying assumption is that child molestation only happens between men and young boys. That's ridiculous. There are hundreds of convicted felons in jail right now because they were men with a preference for little girls. Since when is a man liking young girls suddenly gay? Is homosexuality the new catch-all for any sexual behaviour that lies outside the interactions between one man and one woman?
More YouTube hilarity:
A comment on a video of someone painting the Mona Lisa using MS Paint:
"ur the living picasso! or who ever painted the original".
Uh, can anyone say WE NEED MORE ART EDUCATION IN OUR PUBLIC SCHOOLS?
Also. While we're talking about kissing girls and YouTube, I came across some "Yes on Prop 8" videos that I kind of thought were hilarious.
According to one video's comments, "98% of all homosexuals in prison admitted to being attracted to children". What? Does anyone actually believe these kinds of figures? 98% of all CHILD MOLESTERS in prison admitted to being attracted to children--that I would believe. I mean, that's what got them put in jail in the first place. But homosexuals? I don't think so.
My favourite part, I think, is the underlying assumption is that child molestation only happens between men and young boys. That's ridiculous. There are hundreds of convicted felons in jail right now because they were men with a preference for little girls. Since when is a man liking young girls suddenly gay? Is homosexuality the new catch-all for any sexual behaviour that lies outside the interactions between one man and one woman?
More YouTube hilarity:
A comment on a video of someone painting the Mona Lisa using MS Paint:
"ur the living picasso! or who ever painted the original".
Uh, can anyone say WE NEED MORE ART EDUCATION IN OUR PUBLIC SCHOOLS?
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